Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Oh to be 9 again!


My sweet niece turns 9 today. Next year, she'll hit the double digits and be (gasp! already???) a preteen. I remember the day she was born, 6 weeks too early and a fighter even then. We called her a miracle baby because she beat the odds.

Her birthday has gotten me to thinking about my own childhood. By the time I was nine, I already knew I wanted to be a writer. I figured I'd be like Laura Ingalls Wilder (my favorite author at the time) and write bestselling novels about my own life. Didn't matter that I hadn't had much of a fascinating life. I believed that I could do do it, so in my mind I would.

Wouldn't it be great to go back to that feeling of invincibility you had as a child? You only had to believe in something hard enough to make it so. I grew up hearing that anyone could be president if they wanted it bad enough. But there was also a caveat to this: you had to more than just believe. You needed to do the hard work to get there too.

What happened to make me lose that unwavering belief in myself?

My personal life has had quite a few hits in the past year. I've been dealing with losing my marriage, my home, my job, friends, but especially the belief in myself. I've wanted to recapture that nine-year-old who thought that she could write bestselling novels just like her favorite author. The one who couldn't wait to be old enough to set the world on fire.

The crazy thing is that she's not gone. My nine-year-old self has only been waiting for my forty-two-year-old self to stop whining and get out of the way. It's time for me to start believing and doing the hard work.

Because a new life is waiting for me.

And my world will never be the same.

Please comment for a chance to win my newest book "Risk of Falling".


31 comments:

  1. Syndi you are still that 9year old girl. Never forget it

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  2. I think you've found her--the 9-year-old. Sometimes years like you've just had segue into unbelievably wonderful ones. I hope this happens to you and that 42 is every bit as cool as 9 was.

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    1. Liz, I am hoping you're right. I recently read Robin Roberts' memoir "Everybody's Got Something", and she mentioned that when it seems like your life is getting lighter it means that God is preparing you to fly.

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  3. Syndi, you've had a tough year and I wish you hadn't had to go through so much. But hold tight to that 9-year-old girl inside because she still believes in dreams coming through, happily-ever-afters, and miracles. This will be a good year ahead for you, but no matter what comes, you are the stronger for it!

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    1. Thank you, Karen. I remember believing in miracles, and I'm ready to again.

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  4. Syndi, I so agree with the comments above! And I say you're lucky you're a writer because you have the most wonderful outlet for all of that emotion. Happy Birthday to your precious niece! Hug her tight and tell her that all of her dreams can come true, too(:

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    1. Carol, writing is a great outlet! Who knows? There might even be a book or two out of this experience.

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  5. Syndi, sometimes we have to step back and take a breath. Some of my favorite verses in the Bible begin, "And it came to pass..."
    That nine-year-old is still there--I saw her in your post!

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    1. Patricia, I love that. I'm going to have to remember that this is passing, and this is just the beginning of my story. Not the end.

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  6. So much of what you said clicked with me. My nine-year-old granddaughter goes into the double digits in September, and I can remember attempting to write the great American novel back in grammar school. From my own experience, I know you’ll get that core of yourself back, the one that you thought you lost. After wading through the problems in my divorce, I found the old me – the one who enjoyed life and could smile again. It just takes a little time.

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    1. Marion, I'm going to hold you to that! I do feel like I'm learning more about myself now and figuring out what I need to be happy.

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  7. Good morning, Syndi! Happy Birthday to your niece, and Happy Birthday to you! Your life heads off in a new direction, making you stronger and wiser than you were before with all this new emotion to draw from. Unfortunately, that includes pain, but we all know how valuable that is in structuring the novel. If the hero and heroine aren't different at the end than they were in the beginning, what's the point? Same applies to our non-fiction lives. Go, Syndi. So much is still ahead of you.

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    1. Thank you, Muriel. You're right that we do inflict pain on our characters to make them stronger. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't need so much character building! LOL. But this is one part of my story that will lead me to my own happy ending.

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  8. Syndi, you're niece is adorable! I think you still have the same 9yo spirit for life she has. It'll come through with time. And remember, in terms of friends, we're all still here for you :).

    Times of crisis are unimaginably tough, but they can also serve as a catalyst for needed change...casting away those who brought/bring you down, gaining wisdom as Muriel said, rediscovering/embracing the old 'true' you as Marion said, surrounding yourself with positive people... I just read 'Queen of Your Life: The grown up woman's guide to claiming happiness and getting the life you deserve' by Cindy Ratzlaff and Kathy Kinney. Cindy spoke at Nationals and we all got a copy (It's actually pub. by Harlequin). It's a quick read, but really good. A lot of what they said hit home. I recommend it. Anyway, you're right. You're world will never be the same. It'll be better :). Believe it. Think positively. It'll happen. Instead of 'Syndi Powell' we should say 'Syndi Power'!!! Hugs :)!!

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    1. I'm going to have to find that book! And I'm taking that name: Syndi Power :) Thanks, Rula.

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  9. Syndi, how wonderful that you have your niece, but better that she has you as her champion. Everyone needs somebody who believes in them unconditionally. I hope you know that you have that in your Heartwarming buds. You may not be where we can give you real hugs, but don't forget we're here if you need to reach out in an email. I know you have a pot of gold at the end of your now shrouded rainbow. One day at a time will get you there.

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    1. I do appreciate all my Heartwarming sisters. You all have been there in ways you can't imagine. Even if I don't respond to the emails, you all have been a lifeline. Thank you to all of you!

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  10. Hi Syndi:) I've been where you are now, and I know how tough and terrifying changes like this can be, especially when your heart is also tired and weary, but I've also come through it and life now is so much better than I could ever have hoped for and I know yours will too! Stay Strong! Stay Beautiful! Stay You! And reach out to us for hugs when needed:)

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    1. Thank you, Jennifer.And you're right about the weary heart. I'll take you up on that offer for hugs at the next conference!

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  11. Go for it, Syndi!! I am a true believer in anything is possible and when one door closes, another one opens. You and your nine-year-old self have some work to do but imagine what you'll gain!!

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    1. Thanks, Amy. I've got to believe that things happen for a reason, and that this will be a time when I look back and think "That was bad, but I wouldn't have missed it because it brought me to a better place that I couldn't imagine."

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  12. I have a nine-year-old. Go out, buy a coloring book and a brand new box of crayon. Surround yourself with color. What stays is beautiful. Then, buy a spiral notebook and a new pencil. Write your life... erase what you want. It's a journey, and you are beautiful and in our thoughts and prayers.

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    1. Oooo, I love that idea of a coloring book. I am using some of my free time to learn how to sew and quilt, taught by my mom. And I've started a "life makeover" journal to do just what you said :)

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  13. Divorce stinks that's for sure. Been there and it took me a while to rebound. But I did and you will too.
    Losing friends is rough too because now you have to find new ones and get to know them and them you.
    But you know - it takes a toll on you and you learn a lot about yourself in the process, but when you come out on the other side you will find your happiness again. I have the faith.

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    1. Marci, Thanks so much for stopping by. I always enjoy what you have to say over on the Harlequin forum.

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    2. Thanks, Marcie. I'm glad you popped over here! Hang on to that faith!

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  14. Syndi, Getting in touch with your nine-year-old self sounds like a wonderful idea for this trying time in your life. Let her wisdom guide you to the new world that is waiting for you.

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    1. Thanks, Linda. The new world is a little scary right now, but there is so much to explore.

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  15. Marcie, you're the winner of my book. I will send you a message on the Harlequin site to get your address.

    Thanks everyone for your kind words and your shared wisdom.

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  16. WooHoo! Thanks Syndi! I messaged you back yesterday (not able to sign on here at work).

    Thanks Pamela. Sometimes I think I say things I probably shouldn't though.

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