Monday, September 8, 2014

When in Doubt, be Funny


Pamela Tracy here.

This summer, I went to a writer's conference in San Antonio.  I've been to 14 RWA conferences because, yes, I've been writing for a long time (started at age 12) and because I love being with other writers.

San Antonio rated in second place.  Only San Francisco showed me a better time.  I love, love, loved this past conference.

Writers are always trying to come up with marketing ploys.  Below is what I handed out during the literacy signing.  Go ahead, read and enjoy!  And, see if you can think up your own row of Dangerous, Safer, Safest, and Ultra Safe :)  

By the way, picture your husband as the speaker :)


Dangerous
Safer
Safest
Ultra Safe
Are you really buying  another Harlequin Love Inspired book?               
Yes, you should definitely buy that book.
That book looks really good.  Maybe you should buy two.
Here, take this 50 dollar gift card from Harlequin.
Did you really sit there reading all day instead of cleaning the house?
A cluttered house is a happy house.  Keep reading.
While you read, I’ll clean the house.  I’ll even get the kids to help.
Here, take this 50 dollar gift card from Harlequin.
There’s too many books in this house.  Let’s get rid of some.
I think books complement the decor of our house.  I’m glad we have so many.
Would you like me to build you another bookcase? Or two?  Or three?
Here, take this 50 dollar gift card from Harlequin.
What?  Now you’re going to try to write a Love Inspired Harlequin romance? 
I’m sure you can do a better job than    _______________               
[insert favorite author’s name]
Great!  We’ll be rich.  The first editor who reads it will buy it. 
Here, take this 500 dollar gift card from Harlequin.  You’ll want to read  the competition.
You’re spending too much time at RWA meetings/critique groups/and National Conference.
Here, let me help.  I’ll read through your first draft just looking for typos.  I’m sure nothing else needs to be changed.
I think it’s wise to pay for a professional web site designer.  After all, we’ll make the $$$ back when your book is turned into a Hallmark movie.
Here, take this 500 dollar gift card from Harlequin.  You’ll want to read at least 100 books all written by the friends you’ve made who write for Harlequin.


Pamela's next book, available from Harlequin Heartwarming in November, features a wolf dog and an alpha hero both!


25 comments:

  1. I love this! I love funny, but I'm more of the "...wish I'd said that..." variety.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Problem with being funny, is sometimes what I think is funny, other's done LOL

      Delete
  2. Sign me up for the "safer" category, Pamela. :) Especially with the cluttered house, LOL Fun post...glad you had a good time at conference.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Cluttered no longer describes my house. Doing a kitchen remodel has put my house in a new level. Think microwave in the living room.

      Delete
  3. Pam, I love, love, loved conference, too. It's always tons of fun when writer friends get together. Your November cover is fantastic. I'm waiting impatiently for my September books to arrive and you have me wanting November already.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. The wolf dog and the Christmas tree rock!

      Delete
  4. Great post Pam! Your cover is beautiful:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. You make me feel guilty for cleaning my house yesterday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Mel, I've not cleaned my house since we started the kitchen remodel. Fine whtie dust is everywhere. ARG

      Delete
  6. Pamela - love the wolf dog, love the tree, love what I can see of the sofa - love starting the day with you and your wonky sense of humor. (Wouldn't you know Mel cleaned house on the weekend?!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Yup, I'm wonky.
      I imagine that Mel's house is always clean :)

      Delete
  7. Funny post. Love it. Love your cover, too. Cluttered house, lots of books...have you been looking in my house?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Pat,
      My husband says we'll never move because he's not moving all the books again.

      Delete
  8. Wonderful post, Pam. Look forward to listening to you tomorrow at the Valley of the Sun meeting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. I look forward to doing the workshop :)

      Delete
  9. Pam, so funny! I WANT a clean house--I really do... But my husband and I are both huge readers and there literally are boxes of books in almost every room. Thankfully, he's not one of those men who insists on a clean house either (well, he probably wouldn't have married me if that were the case LOL) We would both rather read than clean!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Sometimes my husband looks at me and shakes his head, but then he kisses me so I'm good.

      Delete
  10. Replies

    1. I'm glad. And next year, we're really going to party at RWA. Yeah!

      Delete
  11. Great post! I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about because my house is always spotless (under the dog hair, it might be!). -Cheryl, who is supposed to be cleaning but is READING INSTEAD

    ReplyDelete

  12. LOL, one of these Christmases, I'm asking for that little round device that twitters around the house while you're gone :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Super cute post and I love your cover!!

    ReplyDelete