Do you love a good "fish out of water" story? I do. I think I must have been unduly influenced in my formative years by Green Acres, the show where farm living and Park Avenue go head to head. I never imagined I'd be living my own Green Acres episode, but I am. Every single day.
Last week, my dog, Jack, brought me a very special gift. I don't know if you know this, but I really like that dog. He's sweet. He's mainly a lover, not a fighter. There are two gigantic exceptions to this philosophy.
1: Roadrunners. HE HATES THESE BIRDS WITH A FIERY UNDYING PASSION. If he were a cartoon dog, he would totally be buying every Acme anvil he could get his paws on.
2. Bunnies. Widdle cuddly bunny wunnies have taken over my yard, as bunnies will do.
**Warning: if, LIKE ME, you are squeamish about majestic beasts like my dog Jack doing murderous yet natural dog things to wild intruders in his domain, skip to the end.**
Jack has a spacious and comfortably appointed fenced in back yard, but he likes to patrol the front yard, too, so when I am home, I will let him out on a lead. There is no way he could do anything truly guard doggish, right? He's slowing down a bit, growing a spare tire around the middle, moving as quickly as I do when I get out of bed in the morning.
Last Wednesday, as I was cleaning up the kitchen to leave for work, I looked up at the sliding glass doors to see...baby dog Jack with a rabbit head in his mouth. Just the head. How did I know it was a rabbit head? The ears hanging out the side of his mouth were a clue. And he was proud. So very proud.
It took two pieces of cheese and some fancy footwork to get him to drop it outside while he was inside the house. Then I had to find the rest of the rabbit.
**From here, it's safe again**
When I had a snake on my kitchen floor, was he any help? NO. Ain't nobody taking care of that problem but ME.
I am as unprepared for these episodes as Eva Gabor was for life on the farm. Trauma. So much trauma.
For me, not him. This is how sorry he feels:
So, will this show up in a book someday? I don't even know. I tend to turn away from circle-of-life stories whenever possible, but I will never forget the feeling of "What in the world?" as I glanced at my happy, proud dog. THAT can totally go in a book someday.
I like writing people who are outside their comfort zones. My heroine in Heart's Refuge is in very deep water and swimming as fast as she can. That I can relate to, so if you read one of my books and wonder how I can capture being shocked and grossed out in vivid detail, just know I've lived, man. I have lived it.