Friday, June 21, 2013

Random Thoughts Because I Forgot My Book - by Muriel Jensen


My husband has been going to Physical Therapy two days a week for the past six weeks.  While waiting for him, I've been reading Stephen King's book on writing, and Elin Hilderbrand.  But this morning I was rushed at the last moment and forget to take a book.  Most of the magazines in the waiting area relate to health, exercise, and diet. (Jen, you'd be happy there.)  I finally found a large print Reader's Digest.  I've collected some fun facts to share with you.

This one actually can relate to creating character because it involves interesting, well-paying jobs.

PEARL DIVER - seriously!  If your hero/heroine doesn't object to sharing their work area with sharks, diving for pearls off the coast of Australia can earn one $1200. per day.

AIRPLANE REPO - Aircraft reposessors can earn 6% to 10% of the resale price of a plane.  One worth millions can bring in $900,000.  Try not to think about being shot at or thrown into a foreign prison.

WHITE HAT HACKER - With a degree in computer science or information technology, an ethical hacker working for the government or big companies can earn $125,000 a year.

Also writer-relatable -  Dealing with garlic breath if your characters are about to kiss.  If you add mushrooms to your tomato sauce the polyphenols will counteract the garlic's effects on breath.  Or, have fruit for dessert.  There are natural enzymes in apples, berries, pineapple, and kiwis that break down the offending compounds.

FROM THE TWEETER'S HALL OF FAME:  The marriage of Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal was the most spell-checked marriage in history.

5 OVERLY OPTIMISTIC BOOK TITLES (and they're real!)
You Can Make a Stradivarius Violin by Joseph V. Reid
You Can Master Life by James Gordon Gilkey
You Can Train Your Cat by Jo and Paul Loeb (Ha, ha, ha!)
You Can Stop Worrying by Samuel W. Gutwirth
You Can Find Uranium by Joseph Weiss

NEW RULES for staying healthy as opposed to OLD RULES

DON'T brush your teeth right after eating, just rinse with water and wait half an hour.  You can harm your teeth by rubbing in acids such as citrus, vinegar, and soda, thus wearing down enamel and dentin.

DON'T use hydrogen peroxide to clean and disinfect cuts, use soap and water instead.  Peroxide can slow down healing by also destroying the good cells essential for tissue repair.

DON'T limit your egg intake to protect your heart.  The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that egg consumption in healthy people didn't raise risk of heart disease.  Even those with high cholesterol can safely eat an egg a day.

DON'T sit up straight.  Reclining at a 135-degree angle puts less strain on spinal disks than sitting at a 90-degree angle.  Over time, excess pressure can cause your disks to bulge or lead to a herniated disk.

And at last - a joke.  This is a failure on the job-application front as reported by a hiring manager.  He asked the candidate to share his greatest accomplishment.  The interviewee replied that it was writing a short novel.  When the managed explained, "No, I mean something you did while at work." the candidate replied, "But I did write it at work."

So, there you have it; worldly wisdom brought to you by my hours in the PT waiting room.  I'm sure each of you has a nugget of truth, a pearl of brilliance, a joke, a quotation, something to contribute to our store of knowledge.  Please share!

17 comments:

  1. Muriel, your pearls of wisdom are so funny. Now it makes me wonder how many real pearls one might find the belly of a shark off Australia--the one who ate the pearl diver. Those white hat hackers are all about sixteen, and we know how some of them end up, right, I'm sure that's how Snoden started. I've always wondered if Readers Digest fact checks their articles. Does anyone know?
    Happy Friday to everyone, and to all have a grand weekend.

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    1. Hi, Roz! I'll see if I can research their fact-checking policy. I know all our moms are freaking over teeth brushing and sitting up straight! But I guess as long as they don't say the AMA recommends it, they're okay. Happy Weekend to you, too!

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  2. I love reading magazines every once in a while, just for the reasons you listed. Normally I spend my time immersed in a book, but your post reminded me I need to read more magazines and enjoy a chuckle or two.

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    1. When I was a child and we drove long distances to visit my sister in the convent - and before there were televisions in every motel room - my mother always brought along a stack of magazines to keep us entertained in the evenings. In those days the short fiction in LIFE, LOOK, and POST Magazines was great!

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  3. Muriel, I love both your eye for and sense of humor. You had me spewing coffee this morning, especially when I was reading through the list of optimistic book titles and hit 'You can find Uranium'. LOL. And that job applicant...too funny. Great, fun post for the first official day of summer :).

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    1. You may be able to find uranium, but you'd better not try to store it! But, there's another book! It's cool and foggy here (I'm in Oregon, Rula) for the first day of summer, but I'm hoping it warms up. Have a great day!

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  4. I used to subscribe to Reader's Digest, but soon I had a stack of 20 that needed to be read.

    I'm not telling my son about delaying teeth brushing, he'll exploit the information.

    I'd rather dive for pearls than repossess airplanes, so I'm thinking hard.

    And, right now I'm having guilt because I'm obeying my mother and sitting up straight LOL

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  5. I think repossessing airplanes would be a cool occupation for a Janet Evanovich hero. I didn't know there was such a thing, but can't you imagine a hot, life-threatening chase with lots of nail-biting moments? Not my forte, but certainly somebody's!

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  6. Muriel-I adore you! Yes, I would definitely not run out of things to spark my interest in that doctor's office lol:)

    I can relate to the last example of the job interview. I write at work too-shhh.:) Last week-a new co-worker asked me where I find time to write and my boss said-'she has a boss that is nice enough to look the other way lol'. I'm lucky indeed!

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    1. I had the same good fortune! I wrote my first book while clerking in a bookstore one winter. Retail was essentially comatose January through March in Astoria in those days. Thank your boss for us!

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  7. What a great post!!!! Now I know what I'll do when I grow up. I want to dive for pearls!!

    On uranium.... David grew up in an area of the Rez that was next to a uranium mill. The kids were even shown the yellow cake. Now, of course, everyone knows how dangerous the stuff is. His entire neighborhood had to be plowed under, and is uninhabitable.

    On the positive side... he's a super nightlight.

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    1. How cute, Aimee! And David's an all around super romance hero, judging by his post on Wednesday. You're a lucky woman. Sorry about his old neighborhood though. Mine - where that wonderful old tenement was - is now acres of parking lot. Forces us to move on, I guess.

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    2. Oh, man, that's the best line, a super nightlight.

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  8. Muriel, in a waiting room without a book? Talk about torture! LOL.

    My dad used to keep "Reader's Digest" in the "reading room" (bathroom). I would sometimes go in there just so I could read them, especially the humor pieces.

    Love this!

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  9. Hey, Syndi. Ron has a Kindle and I keep thinking I should get myself one and just keep it in my purse. But I'd probably find some way to forget it, too. Let's take a poll. Who has a Kindle or nook in her purse?

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  10. No Kindle (it's by my chair in the living room) but always a notebook and pen.

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  11. Of course - fine writer that you are. Nice to talk to you, Liz!

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