Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Thanksgiving Woes

Pamela Tracy here, and, well, Mel's post yesterday got me thinking.

I'm not much of a cook.  I'm so not a cook that when I started dating my husband, and when I invited him over for dinner, the pre-school teacher where I taught prepared the meal.

I'm not making that up.  For a week, I'd been telling my friends at work about Don coming for dinner and what I was making.

That afternoon, when I finished walking my kindergarten class outside, Wanda met me with a box.  Inside was all the food and notes about how long to cook and such.

Yes, I served Don Wanda's food and he told me I was a good cook.

Two months after we were married, I told him the truth.

I believe that was the day I gave him food poisoning.

I made a chicken casserole.  I read the directions literally.  They told me to put the casserole in the over and cover it.

Hey, the pan I was using came with a cover.

Well, that cover melted.  The directions should have been more clear.  Who knew cover mean aluminum foil?

I digress since the post's title is Thanksgiving woes.

When I was in college I had a boyfriend named Mark.  He was an air force guy <sigh>

I invited him and two other friends for Thanksgiving.

Back then, I REALLY wasn't a cook.

I went to Safeway and bought the most beautiful, greenest head of lettuce.

As we were eating the salad, Mark asked me, "Why are we having cabbage salad?"

It was green, round, and leafy.  That meant lettuce, right?

It wasn't.

Are you convinced yet?

I do make a mean sloppy joe.

12 comments:

  1. Pamela! You need to go on that worst cooks in America show on Food Network. I'd tune in to see you get better (or get eliminated). Thanks for the morning chuckle!

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    1. LOL, I have no time to cook. That's the problem, along with the fact that I have a dozen things I'd rather be done. Like reading.

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  2. Pam, you are so funny. No wonder such delightful experiences show up in your books. I'm happy for all of you that you're going to your sister-in-law's house for Thanksgiving. Do they ask you to bring the rolls? In our family the people who aren't good cooks get to bring rolls or wine.

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    1. Patti makes the best rolls and is an awesome cook. I bring the green bean casserole that no one eats. Well, Patti takes some but she's being polite.

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  3. Pam, you're such a riot! But I can relate because I'm not wild about cooking, either. Do you ever watch 'Two and a Half Men?' It is often awful, but at unexpected times has the funniest comedy and a great heart. Anyway - Charlie (the hero) and Alan (his brother) have a mother, played by Holland Taylor , who is just hilarious. She's once explaining why her first husband died of food poisoning and she says defensively, "I
    "I was a young bride! No one told me you don't keep fish in a drawer!" Makes me think of you - and me. Thanks for the laugh.

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  4. LOL, and I've given him food poisoning twice in our marriage. Of course, I gave it to myself, too. Arg.

    He has a rule. I'm not allowed to invite company over on a night I'm trying a new recipe.

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  5. Poor man, though obviously a good choice as the husband of a romance writers - he's obviously really in love with you/

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    1. Yes, because my answer to bad tasting food is to put ketchup on it. He doesn't like ketchup.

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  6. I think cooking is overrated anyway lol:) I'm terrible at it-honestly I'm terrible at almost all 'domestic' roles...Anyway, it used to bother me a little, especially after I had Jacob, because I remember how my friend Amanda's mom used to bake the best homemade cookies when we were kids...and I started having anxiety attacks over the fact that Jacob would have to eat store bought cookies lol. Crazy, I know...But the first time I tried to make homemade muffins with homemade marshmallow topping in the shape of ghosts for my then ten month old son's daycare Halloween party-I realized that my son would have to love me for other reasons lol

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    1. I dream of making things fsor Mike's class, but he gets store bought, too.

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  7. That is so funny, Pam! I love baking, hate cooking. I am always thankful at Thanksgiving that someone else is making the turkey :)

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    1. Amy, we're so glad you've joined us. When it's my turn to do a holiday, my husband grills steaks. hehehehe

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