Monday, February 3, 2014

What is love? By Cynthia Reese

People define love in all kinds of ways.

There's the famous "love means you never have to say you're sorry" definition.

There's the Team Fever definition -- all those folks emphasize the pounding heart, the trembling hands, the locked eyes -- yanno, that feeling you got by the second date with your Prince Charming. 

Then there's the Team Endurance definition -- and these folks talk about Golden Wedding Anniversaries and loving someone more as both their wrinkles and their faults grow more obvious. 

I tell you, I'm firmly in the camp of Team Endurance. Matrimonial life is a marathon, not the sprint your dating years were. 

As I write this, I am laid up with a severely bad kidney infection -- bad enough I wound up in the ER in the middle of the night getting pumped full of IV antibiotics. 

I was SUPPOSED to fix hot wings for The Big Game. But my dear hubby and dear daughter both volunteered to try to cook them. 

That is love, when a pair of non-cooks try to follow a recipe. 

And they broke my deep-fry/candy thermometer -- and it was a Polder, too. 

I didn't yell. 

So I guess THAT'S love. 

I supervised the heating of the oil from a stool, while hubby stood at the ready and my kiddo mixed the sauce. I felt like I was going to fall off that stool. 

They told me thank you about a million times. And propped me up. And swore that they had this covered, to go back to bed. But their deer-in-the-headlight looks gave them away. 

Doing something you're afraid of for someone else? That's DEFINITELY love. 

And then, when I tottered back to the couch, The Kiddo made me a plate and brought it to me. The Hubby sat with me so the Permed Dachshund wouldn't steal it. 

Yeah. You can keep your palpitations and meaningful glances, Team Fever. Because bringing a plate to the sick-as-dog-couldn't-deliver-the-wings-on-her-own woman who's doing an astonishing impersonation of a throw rug on the couch?

THAT'S love. Definitely. 

17 comments:

  1. That's the sweetest post, Cynthia! I'm all for Team Endurance! Take care of yourself. I hope you feel better soon. Kidney infection. Not fun. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yup. You got it. I'm with you. Hope you're feeling better!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Girlfriend, I want to be on your team! We're having one of those mornings, where the garbage bag broke on the way to the trash can and my husband spilled baby aspirin all over. Have to hang in there and sigh. Hope you feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, Cynthia! I'm on your team, too. Almost 46 years of each of us stepping in when the other can't. And a man who'll save your food for the dog! Gotta love him. Ron and the dog usually share whatever they can hunt down. I'm so sorry about your infection. Hope you'll be feeling better soon. Hard to write romance when you feel that way. To a better day tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good grief! Make that 'save your food FROM the dog.'

      Delete
  5. Cynthia, Love the post, sorry you had to write it from your sick bed. Hope you're better. I shared Team Endurance for 51 years, and the last two I wrangled the caregiver spot. There is much love on both sides of a relationship when it's give and take depending on one another. And sorry, but I smugly have to say here---Yay Seahawks!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hope you're feeling better, Cynthia!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Me, too, I hope you're feeling better.
    What's "a deep-fry/candy thermometer -- and it was a Polder, too." Just in case I ever learn to cook, I might need to know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love it, Pam. Someone who is a worse cook than I. When you deep fry stuff or make candy, you get it to a particular temperature which can only really be properly determined with a thermometer - and, apparently, a Polder is the best. Didn't know that. I became a writer so I could live in a hotel and order out. You must have, too. Rude awakening, eh?!

      Delete
    2. I have a thermometer. I use it when I cook Lasagna. Is that the same?

      Delete
    3. I guess. Haven't heard of using a thermometer to cook lasagna - but then, it's me. I usually buy the frozen family-sized one.

      Delete
    4. I don't use it to cook lasagna, but to make sure the lasagna is the right temperature when I take the frozen, family-sized one out of the oven. Hey, I made it from scratch one (not the noodles). You know, it wasn't the cooking that made me decide never to do it again, it was the mess I made of the kitchen.

      Delete
  8. Feel better Cynthia! I think it's sweet when we find love in the little things. You know it's love when they break your stuff and you let it go! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Team Endurance, Cynthia! You are a warrior and you always power through so much, for yourself but also Ricky and Kate. You are one of the strongest women I know. Feel better soon xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  10. Feel better Cynthia! I'm coming up on anniversary number 1, so I hope to join the Endurance team eventually, but for now, I'm enjoying the heart racing when I see him lol:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And that still happens when you on the Endurance Team!

      Delete
    2. There are so many times I just want to hug you Muriel!:)

      Delete