Well, we decided to do the exact opposite. What would make Victoria Curran, Senior Editor of Heartwarming and Super Romance, question our sanity? These pitches might do it.
Let's see what you think. First up, we have this doozy from Carol ...
My Sweet Honey Bucket
CEO heroine on a camping trip gets trapped inside a portable outhouse when the rusty latch breaks off and she can’t get the door open! The scents of urine cake and pine needles fill the air. One hand over her mouth, she reaches for her cell phone with the other. Oops! In the toilet. Panicked, she fashions a torch out of toilet paper and a stick she’d brought with her to fend off wild critters. She lights it with the matches in her pocket (she had to have a campfire) and holds it against the vent. Smoke signal ensues, alerting Dirk Saniman that trouble is afoot. He rushes to the scene and finds love in the honey bucket.
Oh boy, we smell a winner! Actually, we think this proposal would end up in Victoria's port-a-potty.
Next up, Amy's idea ...
A Man and Pedi
Richard Piedmont loves feet. His job as pedicurist at Salon Bliss nail salon allows him to spend his eight-hour work day making every foot that comes his way pretty and smooth ... until he meets Callie Ardous. He's never met a callous he couldn't soften, but Callie's job as a fire-walker has made her tootsies a little tough. His dedication to his work could get her burned. But his care and attention could set her heart on fire.
Victoria would definitely take a match to this one!
Carol's got one more ...
One Pesky Love Affair
One Pesky Love Affair
Trusting her real estate agent brother-in-law, interior decorator heroine has purchased her dream house sight unseen, intending to turn it into the showpiece for her new business. Only problem is the place is infested with bugs; cockroaches, termites, bed bugs, moths, you name it, this house has got it! Enter Sam Raid, exterminator extraordinaire. Sam’s got it all, respirator (that makes him look a lot like the insects he’s trying to kill), flaming-red jumpsuit, tall rubber boots, latex gloves. What woman could resist a backpack filled with dangerous chemicals and the tantalizing scent of toxic fumes that lingers long after he’s departed?
Carol's all about assaulting our sense of smell. Victoria might actually print this out ... to use the paper to kill some spiders!
Last but not least ...
At Your Service
Ella Diamond is an jeweler who's been hired to create the engagement ring for the world's most eligible bachelor so he can shed his title. A trip to the local car wash leads to her worst nightmare. Tito Samson is immediately drawn to the gorgeous customer with the cherry-red Mustang convertible, but when he accidentally vacuums up the diamond she's supposed to set in some famous guy's ring, he has to go on a wild goose chase to find that stone. If he can save the day, he might just win something more precious than a diamond -- Ella's heart.
Something tells us that Victoria would happily vacuum up all the words in this pitch.
Writing a pitch and putting together the perfect proposal is never easy (at least not for us). But with this little exercise in silliness, we've assured ourselves that no matter what we send in, it can't possibly be the worst we've ever written!!