I'm about to get married, and I need your advice. I thought getting engaged would be romantic, and it was for about a week, but then the stress started. Everyone has an opinion about everything. The guest list turned out to be longer than anticipated, and I had no idea how much a dress was going to cost until I started trying some on...
So my big day is coming up, and I'm excited, but I'm worried, too. My fiancee and I had our first big fight when his mom started insisting that we invite second cousins from Baltimore, and I made the mistake of calling his mother "overbearing."
I love him so much, but I hate the way we're starting our life together. Advice, please?
Photo by Alan Ajifo
Dear Freaked Out,
The wedding is one day, and things will go wrong. Big things will go wrong. In my wedding, someone completely forgot the recorded music for my walk down the aisle. As in, I was standing there in dead silence... and nothing happened. Word was quickly passed that the music was missing, and everyone pulled together and hummed "Here Comes the Bride." It's my sweetest memory from the day... besides the vows, of course.
So here is my advice to you: a successful wedding day isn't the one that is the most photogenic or with the smoothest planning. A successful wedding day is where you say "I do," and he says "I do," and you walk away from it a married couple. I don't care if you're wearing a garbage bag!
So relax. And get married!
Photo by Leffeben
Dear Freaked Out,
Since Patricia Johns covered the wedding, I'm going to give you the marriage advice I wish I'd received :
1. Keep your own identity. It will make you happier and if mamma's happy, everyone is happy.
2. Spend time together creating your memories.
3. Never, ever vent about your husband to your family when you're angry with him. You'll get over it, and even forget it, but your family won't. Same thing with your friends.
4. Make a budget and stick to it. If someone had shown me how to do that, my first marriage might have made it. :-)
5. Have time alone for yourself and allow him time alone for himself. We all need space sometimes.
6. Make a commitment to him and your marriage.
You're going to be fine! I wish you a lifetime of happiness.
PS. If the cousins from Baltimore get an invitation, what about me and Patricia Johns? ;) We're writers, so you're guaranteed some fantastic toasts... Just putting that out there.
What about YOU? What's the best advice you could give a woman about to get married?