Decision Time

Life is getting away from me. I was sure the third Monday of June was next week. It seems like everything is just ahead of me...and then, it's past. I was visiting my family this weekend, and just forgot when I was. So I'm sorry, this post is late, and it's very seat of my pants.

A few months ago I made a life changing decision. My husband proposed that we take a sabbatical year, starting in September. We'll leave the boys (22 and 24 but always the boys to me) with the house and the dog, and we'll take the boat south for the winter.



That was a big decision for me. I'm wrapping up my business, hoping that I can do a lot of writing and maybe have a career change when we return. If not, accounting is always there. Really, I work from home and it is ALWAYS there. But a winter in the south, time to write, no accounting for a few months - yeah, that sounded good. A little risky, but good.

We had a plan. Start here at  home in Toronto. Take Lake Ontario south to Oswego, through the canals to the Hudson river and then New York for a week or two. Then down  to Annapolis, Maryland for one of the world's biggest boat shows. From there, head south on the inter-coastal waterway with a group of boats.

This is a little scary - living in a small confined space, cooking in a minuscule kitchen, sometimes going for a couple of days without stepping on terra firma, but we could see how we'd do. Meantime, we'd always be next to land. Until December, next to North American land where things are familiar and safe. Then we'd head to the Bahamas from Florida.

Now, though, my husband, the adventure lover, who wants to spend most of the winter in places like the British Virgin Islands and St Martin and Martinique has found a way where we can be in the BVI by November, not February. (note, sailboats are slow.) But instead of taking the safe inter-coastal waterway, we do a two week passage in the Atlantic from Annapolis. As in, Atlantic Ocean.

This is SCARY. This is well out of my comfort zone. We'd go with another couple, which could be an issue for my introverted soul. I'm not a very experienced sailor and this is BIG sailing. Like, I could be sea sick for the first time. No land for twelve days. No escape for twelve days. I might arrive in Tortola and go straight to the airport to fly home.

My husband wants me to go. He has a mood disorder, and my being there would help him. But how do I tell my mother, who already is anxious at the thought of us going the safe, easy coastal route?

So, since I already have an agreement to opt out of long distance passages, do I go on the big adventure, or do I visit the family back home while my husband does the ocean passage and join him in the BVI when it's over? What kind of scary decisions have you made? What were your regrets?

BTW - this overstates my sailing abilities!

Comments

  1. You aren't alone. Life gets away from me, too! One scary decision I made was moving across country, away from family and friends. It worked out okay. And now I have friends across the U.S.

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    1. I've done moves as well - to Winnipeg from eastern Ontario when I was still single, and then moving back with the kids. That's a whole different kind of risk. I feel that it didn't equip me for this decision!

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    2. True. I'm not sure if I could do the sailing part, though I'd wish I could. The risks I've taken are different. Sending in my first manuscript felt like a huge one at the time. Standing up to harassment and risking a career I loved was another kind. Both worked out all right, but they're still different from the risks you're facing. Best of everything with both the decision-making and the results thereof!

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  2. Wow. I think the idea of a year sailing is scary enough, without the big water option. But I get seasick on teeter -totters, so what do I know? You just have to make the best decision for you and your husband. I know it will work out. Happy sailing!

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  3. Well, as I've said here before, I did the liveaboard/cruising life many years ago and believe it is worth the discomforts and such for all the benefits and fun of it. No matter how you head to the islands, you'll have to do a several day "voyage," but that said, if your husband wants to bypass the waterway, you can always find an experienced sailor to go with him, if you're reluctant--and I understand! I've known people who did that. But then you'd have the whole winter in the islands, and there's nothing quite like that. I think you can have your cake and eat it, too!

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    1. One day I'm sure the 12 day crossing will ruin it for me and I shouldn't do it, and the next I think I can, so I'm really having problems sticking to one decision. I wish there was a chance to give it a try first!

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  4. Oh, gosh, how exciting and how scary. I have no advice--I think water is for looking at, from the beach--but either way it looks like a so-fun winter. Keep us up-to-date!

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    1. That's normally how I do water as well. Sailing is a whole new thing.

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  5. Wow, I would be out of breath trying to make a decision, and my husband would be trying to sway me toward the very scary but exciting. We are campers, and right now, Don is talking about a trip where we'll take the camper on some very narrow roads, where if a wheel should leave the road, we're talking about a mega fall. Well, we married heroes, guess that means we do not get to just stay home.

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    1. My husband keeps saying he won't try to influence my decision, but keeps doing little "did you consider this" comments, and I know what he wants me to decide. And yes, he's pushed me out of my comfort zone a lot, and often for the better.

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  6. I’m not qualified to give advice here because a) I get seasick b) I’m very scared of big waves and c) not a fan of sailing. But I have sometimes gotten out of my comfort zone and every time, funnily, it was my husband who pushed me. Climbing to the top of the Duomo in Florence Italy was one time....I also don’t like narrow confined staircases where you have no choice but to go to the top once you start out.....and going para-sailing the year I turned 50.That was actually breathtakingly wonderful. In spite of qualms, fears and doubts, accomplishing something out of that zone does leave a sense of exhilaration, tempered by relief that it’s all over. Bon Voyage Kim!

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    1. It'll be an adventure, no matter what I decide, I know. Okay, back to my pros and cons list!

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  7. I think it's just awesome that life has given you the opportunity to make those kind of decisions. Best!

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    1. It would help if life had also given me better decision making skills! ;)

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  8. I'm coming in late as missed this yesterday. After reading I'm thinking of the great stories you'll be able to write. I don't have any sailing comments. I'm someone who doesn't like cruising on a big ship out in the wide ocean. It'd be nice if life was predictable. Best of luck.

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    1. I will certainly be able to have some real authenticity in anything I write about sailing!

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  9. I missed this yesterday too, but wow! This is huge. I'm terrified of the ocean, so there would be no debating for me, but I can see you have a hard decision to make. But I am a big fan of going outside of my comfort zone and trying something new. I love adventure. My hubby is more of a "let's never leave our house" person. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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    1. How do we always end up with the adventure seekers pairing up with the home bodies?

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  10. Time has gotten so away from me I'm only just reading this, but your adventure, should you decide to take it, will become fodder for a great story. What's that old saying? A sailing ship in a safe harbor is safe, but that's not what they were built for. You can always decide to jump ship along the way, should things get dicey. If you don't do it, you'll kick yourself. When I signed up for my first long distance sled dog race, I was scared. Labrador is very remote and there's nobody to rescue you when things go wrong out in the wilderness. But my dogs took care of me and I took care of my dogs and when things got dicey, and they sure did, we leaned on each other and got through the two day blizzard, getting lost, camping out at forty below. We survived. You will, too.

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