Tis The Season of the Haunted House By: Roz Denny Fox

I was never big on paying money to get scared out of my wits going through a “for charity” haunted house. When I worked at the elementary school and we had Spook Night on Halloween to keep the kiddies off the streets, we set up a fun, not scary area that the little kids thought was scary and the older ones thought was stupid. So, teens and college kids really go for the big, bad haunted houses. I remember in Seattle where my kids grew up, it always rained and the nights around Halloween were dark and spooky anyway. My husband loved to take them and their friends through any one of many houses set up for charity. Bless him, I was freed of going through rattling chains, webs (ick) and things that go bump in the night.

Okay, I’m well past the age of having anyone at home who wants to visit a haunted house. But the reason I decided to blog about them is because the other night I was scrolling through programs on TV and landed on Showbiz Tonight, the entertainment program hosted by A.J. Hammer. He had people on talking about the Emmy’s and the Alma’s, so I stopped to listen. In the course of guests discussing award shows, someone mentioned Halloween and haunted houses. A guest asked if the others had seen where the popularity of haunted houses was waning. But apparently one group of fundraisers hit on a new twist. Visitors to this particular haunted house would be expected to leave their clothes at the door on entering. The house was adult-only. (well that’s a relief)

Okay, they joked about it a while and I laughed, but thought it couldn’t be true. Then the next night I heard the same thing on a news channel.

So, are you picturing this? That’s what I started to do. Calling on my memories of traveling through a pitch black house where things jumped out, slapped you with cold, wet fronds of some kind, or stuff of undetermined origin brushed against you moaning, screeching, or worse---and I began to imagine doing all that nekkid.

The scariest part might not be what is rigged up in the house, but standing in line outside waiting to shed your clothes—watching others do so at the head of the line--at night in who know what kind of weather. Adults aren’t all young and buff and beautiful. We come in all shapes and sizes. It didn’t sound as if the group putting this house on was part of the local nudist colony, but everyday folks raising money for their favorite charity.

Alas, I don’t recall anyone advertising what city this is going to be in. If some city ordinance doesn’t shut them down, I can’t believe the trend will catch on. I’m pretty sure not in the wet, rainy, cold Northwest of my history with haunted houses. Maybe here in balmy Arizona, but more probably in California—land of risk takers. Or I suppose it could even be in one of the places where they’ve legalized smoking funny stuff. Okay, so I’m taking a poll here. How many of you would fork over five or ten bucks for this spooky opportunity?

PS: I heard on Jay Leno last night that the police closed down this haunted house.