Retro Romances: I Want You Back by Karen Rock

Retro Romances are the latest trend in romance. Thanks to Facebook and other social networking sites, it’s now easy to find and reconnect with ‘The One that Got Away’. Sure, you’ve thought about him, how your relationship ended, wondered how life would be if you’d stayed together and the itch to give it another shot takes hold. But should you? Here are some thoughts about whether to go ‘retro’ with your love life and, if you do, how to have a happy- and lasting- reunion.

1. Before reaching out, ask yourself a couple of important questions. First, do you truly still care for him, or are you possibly just tired of being single? It’s always better to be alone than with the wrong guy. Second, did you and your ex have a positive, healthy relationship? Without him around to remind you of the things that drove you nuts, are you focusing on only the good? Try to look at the past objectively and honestly assess whether being together made you and your life better. You don’t want to return to a negative relationship.

2. If you answered YES to both questions, then it's time to reach out. Be sure to keep your initial contact light and casual. Don't put pressure on him and, most importantly, on yourself. Leave a Facebook message such as, "It was great to see your name on Facebook! How are you?" The way he responds will give you a lot of clues on whether or not to go forward. If his answer is short, like, "I'm good. Hope everything's well with you." That's not a good sign. Ideally, he'll ask you questions about yourself and sound enthusiastic to have heard from you. If so, that's your signal to take things a step further.

 

3. Find out if he’s single before asking him out. If he doesn’t list his relationship status online, check out his Facebook photos. If you see a lot of recent ones that show him looking affectionate with the same girl- someone you don’t know- that’s a sign that he might be seeing her. You could also, through conversations about your personal lives as you catch up, find a subtle way to ask him about his current dating situation.

4. All systems go? Time to suggest a low-key meet-up like going out for coffee or something neutral. You don't want to put too much of yourself out there until you are sure he's interest in a renewing his romance with you. Another idea would be to suggest a restaurant you both enjoyed, an art gallery you used to frequent, an activity, like biking or skiing, you both enjoyed. Going back to places that hold good memories will remind him of the great times you had together and rekindle old feelings. 

 

5. Talk about funny, romantic, and exciting times together while on your meet-up, like a great trip you went on or how you first met. Walking down memory lane together will resurrect those old feelings you had then. Add in a bit of subtle, casual physical contact like letting your hands brush as you pass him things or knees touch under the table. If he leans in and relaxes, that’s a good sign. Pulling away from any contact would raise a red flag, or at least a ‘proceed with caution’ sign.

6. Don't get carried away yet! Think about why things didn't work out the first time and look for signs that things will be different now. If you broke up because he spent too much time partying, notice how he acts when you're out. Pay attention to how much he drinks. How much does he talk about going out? The bad habits and routines that drove you apart should be done to make this retro romance a lasting one. Take things slow and most of all, trust your gut.
 

In my upcoming release, HIS HOMETOWN GIRL, my main character, Jodi, must decide whether to give her childhood sweetheart, Daniel, and her hometown, another chance. Share your experiences with retro romances in the comments section below and be entered to win either an autographed print copy of HIS HOMETOWN GIRL, or an ebook- your choice J The winner will be announced on Friday on this blog post as well as on my author Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/karenrockwrites . Thanks so much for stopping by and I look forward to reading your comments!