I have been contemplating this blog for quite some time. I don’t mean for it to be depressing. The point I’m going to make is actually life affirming.
Three years ago I became a widow. I had been married thirty-five years, so the loss was profound and difficult. Over those thirty-five years, I can’t tell you how many times I summoned my husband with nit picky jobs that I should have been able to handle myself.
“Bud, the lightbulb needs changed.”
“Bud, there’s a spider in the bathtub.”
“Bud, the dog needs to go out.”
Suddenly, there was no one to call. I was on my own and lonely. So what are just a few things I’ve learned to do myself? They may not seem momentous to many of you – maybe you have always been the kind of woman to “bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan” but for me, this has been a learning curve.
1. I can fix the disposal as long as I can find the hex wrench.
2. I can change the filter in the refrigerator.
3. I can hook up all those dang wires and cables to the TV and the cable outlet.
4. I can drive two days and one thousand miles by with only my pup and my radio for company.
5. I can have my car serviced without feeling I’ve been taken advantage of. For that matter, I can buy a new car and get a good deal.
6. I can go in the tool department of any big box store, buy what I need and not feel like an idiot.
7. I can use a footstool or even a ladder to reach high places.
8. I can put up and take down the Christmas tree by myself.
I will never stop missing “Bud.” But I will survive. I have friends, and I have my writing to ground me and give purpose to my days. And each time I learn something new, I feel a sense of accomplishment. If any of you have lost your “go to” guy, I know… it’s hard, but you are better, you are stronger, you are much more clever than you ever thought you were.
What has made you feel a sense of pride in yourself today?
By the way, I feel a real sense of pride in my latest Harlequin Heartwarming, Book three of the Daughters of Dancing Falls, RESCUED BY MR. WRONG. This book releases in one week, February 1. I hope you'll give it a try. And maybe read them all!
What an inspiring and thoughtful post, Cynthia! Congratulations on your new release!ReplyDelete
Cynthia, my heart goes out to you, as it does to all widows and those who have lost their hero. I naively thought I'd be a widow when I was really old. Or maybe never. It's been fifteen months for me and in some ways I'm still in shock. But like you, my writing has been my savior, as it has been in nearly every crisis in my life.ReplyDelete
Perhaps these lessons we are learning is why we are learning them...to give these moments of grief, emotion and triumph to our readers.
I love your stories and you can bet I'll be reading RESCUED BY MR. WRONG!
Best wishes with it!
I appreciate you sharing this with us, Cynthia. You should be proud of all that you've accomplished...I'm sure Bud is. :)ReplyDelete
Congratulations on your upcoming release!
I'm sorry to hear that you lost your husband. I've often wondered what life would be like without mine and I can't even imagine. My latest accomplishment was learning how to care for our diabetic cat. (Since I'm a homemaker I tackle a lot of things on my own while the hubs is out earning the money.) I did the research and learned how to inject him with insulin and check his glucose levels. Happily with a change in diet he seems to be in remission. Normal sugar levels for the past few weeks. It was overwhelming at first, but it's amazing what we can accomplish when we are determined.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. But you're right--we can do so much more than we think! It's funny--I've gotten so used to my husband being with me for things, that I've started shrinking away from doing the things I loved when I was single. It's silly--I know that! But I need to stop it. Thanks for your post!ReplyDelete
Thank you for this post, Cynthia, that is both poignant and affirming. When I retired my gift to myself was a train trip across Canada by myself. I wanted to go but hubby didn't. I had the most amazing time, loved the whole adventure in spite of my qualms. I look forward to your new book - love the title!- and think it will very much reflect your personality and strong character. All the best!ReplyDelete
Oh Cynthia, It is hard to lose one you love and not just because of the chores. But congrats on discovering your hidden strengths and moving on. It is tough, but thankfully the Lord provides blessings along the way. Your book sounds wonderful.ReplyDelete
Thanks for the inspiring post. I know it's hard to lose someone, especially someone you loved and depended on. Think how proud he would be of all you've learned to do on your own. Looking forward to your new book!ReplyDelete
I am so very sorry for your loss, Cynthia, but I have tremendous respect for you for your perseverance and positive attitude.ReplyDelete
Best wishes with your upcoming release!
Cynthia, I missed seeing this yesterday. You know I'm in your boat. Sometimes it still feels as if it's sinking. I have learned to do some of the things you've mentioned, but not climbing tall ladders or driving long distances by myself. But I learned to repair cracks in my retaining wall, even putty and paint part of my garage wall when the faucet broke and the plumber had to cut a hole to put a new one in. I'm glad to hear you are doing so well. And I'm in the middle of reading Keegan and Carrie's wonderful story right now. Reading is something that hasn't changed for me.ReplyDelete
Cynthia, I can only imagine how hard it is to be alone after a happy marriage. I'm so glad you've learned to handle all those things on your own. You're a strong and amazing woman. Can't wait to read the new book. I loved The Bridemaid Wore Sneakers.ReplyDelete
Lovely post. So sorry for your loss. Can't wait to read your book!ReplyDelete