Fight or Flight.

That's how we respond when we're in trouble, right?

I'm in flight mode.

It's absolutely the wrong response. Right now, I'm up to my eyeballs in accounting, the day job. I had two people working with me, and one has moved on, and I haven't found a replacement. I'm not sure long term I want one, and short term, I don't have time to find someone and train them. This is the busiest time of the year for my business.

This isn't the first time I've been swamped. I took on too much when I was a one person business, and I ended up with bursitis/frozen shoulder from too much accounting. I was working evenings and weekends, and I got an accounting injury. It's true, it happened, and it wasn't even a paper cut.

I'm trying this time to not work evenings and weekends because of injury and work life balance, but in any case, what I'm wanting to do is run, figuratively.

That means, instead of knuckling down and just getting stuff done, every time there's another email or phone call with someone wanting something else done, I'm trying to flee. Find something on the internet to read, pick up a book, find something around the house to do. Which is wrong. I just want to hide out until it's over, but it won't be over till I get it done.

I know I'll get through it. I did when I gave myself bursitis, and also the year I was working full time, taking accounting courses, doing a second job and then decided to make all my Christmas presents by hand. We call that as the crazy Christmas around here.

I realized, in my book coming out next month, that I wrote a female protagonist with a very different response. When Bridget gets in trouble, she faces it head on.



Bridget had a bad feeling and knew exactly where to look for answers. She stalked down the hallway to Wally the Weasel’s office.
He wasn’t there, so she sat in a chair to wait for him.
Bridget’s temper smoldered as she read the email Monica forwarded. Wally had included everyone but her; that was obviously deliberate. By the time Wally showed up, Bridget was ready to ignite.
Wally was almost around his desk before he noticed Bridget sitting in one of the visitor chairs.
“Oh, Bridget.” He swallowed. “I didn’t see you there. I’m kind of busy...” His voice trailed off as Bridget stood up and closed the door firmly.
“So what’s going on, Wally?”
“The name is Walter—” He scurried behind his desk as he saw the look on Bridget’s face. He swallowed again. “You mean about the pool, I suppose.”
“Yes, you suppose right. Yet, again, you’ve failed to notify me about something important to my job.”
“Oh, dear, did you not get the email? Maybe your server?”
“Cut the crap, Wally,” Bridget answered. “There were a couple of emails, all of them connected to the pool and this problem you’d detected, but I wasn’t on any of them. I’m the swim coach, and I was never asked about it, or told that there was an issue.”
“I’m not sure I like your attitude—”
Bridget stood up. “And I don’t like your crap. You’ve had it in for me ever since I started that swimming program. What is wrong with you?”
Bridget’s voice was rising. She leaned over his desk, gripping the wooden edge to resist the temptation to grab him around his weaselly neck.



A month from now, it'll be over. And I'll feel much better. But right now, instead of working, I'm doing a blog post. Flight response.

How do you handle these situations? Are you like me, or more like Bridget? Fight or flight?

Just wanted to add:  Happy Family Day!  I didn't realize it was a holiday up here in Canada, partly because with no kids in school I didn't get notice that teachers were not going to be taking care of my kids, partly because working for myself at home there was no discussion about a day off, and partly because of the craziness I described above. I hope you all are having a better Family Day than I am!

Comments

  1. I had a writing related injury to my shoulder, too, and the doctor just wouldn't believe me that it was from spending too much time at the keyboard. LOL! So I feel better hearing you did the same thing!

    I hope you get over the hump and the work is done soon!

    I'm in Canada as well, so Happy Family Day right back at you! :)

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    1. I had the same thing happen in my other shoulder. I think it's because I decided to start mousing with the other hand. I've now switched to a touch pad, and things have improved.

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  2. So sorry to hear about your stressful time. Sometimes I think it should be called a woman's issue---taking on too many tasks. Family Day sounds nice, though. Maybe you can sneak in a bit of "free" minutes to be thankful for your family. Look forward to your book.

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    1. I think they came up with Family day because the winters are so long up here in Canada. Since I'm now self employed, it's not quite the freebie it is for employees, but it's a nice break!

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    2. In Alberta, a former premier instituted it in recognition of his son's legal and personal troubles. A day to recognize the value of family, the other provinces wisely came on board because yes, it's such a long stretch from New Year's to Easter.

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    3. That's right, it was in Alberta before it moved this way. It's been a while since I worked in payroll.

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  3. Happy Family Day back at you, Kim! Although my kids are grown (and teaching school now!) it’s so nice to get together for a family dinner today. I’m in awe of your work load and how well, in spite of your protestations, you manage it along with writing novels!! Congrats on this release - Bridget is a fighter for sure. Liking her spirit!

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    1. My oldest is working from 1 to 8 today (at a movie theatre, and Black Panther is making his life miserable I think) so we'll have a family dinner later this week while the youngest is home from university. It gets difficult when they get that old. And how do they when I'm not getting that much older?

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  4. First, I avoid with all my might, and then if I can't avoid, flight is the next option. If I ever engage my fight response, it's either desperation or two days after the problem when I'm thinking about what I "should have said."

    Sorry about the overload. I know you'll get it done, hopefully without any major injuries this time. Congratulations on the story coming out in March. I can't wait to read more about Bridget and see how Wally reacts.

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    1. I wish I could avoid more, but it's hard to keep a business going that way.

      I'm dreaming of next year, when the only overload will hopefully be of sun, if we can make this boat idea work. It does help thinking, this could be the last time I work on this file...

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  5. I want to learn to avoid like Beth... I loved the excerpt!

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    1. I think I may soon have an excellent avoidance technique. If we sail south on the boat this fall, then I can just pretend I didn't know - internet down, out of cell service, sand in my ears...

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  6. Oh, Kim, how well I know that flight or fight thing and most of the time I choose flight, too. Mine comes from not being able to say no. Praying your day gets better...actually for the next 54 days!

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    1. I've had the saying no problem with my business! I do production accounting, and when someone comes with a passion project they've been dreaming of for years, and they need someone to hold their hand through that first film or documentary, I just want to help. They always sound so interesting...

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  7. I'm with Liz--loved the excerpt. I'm so glad you have the release to look forward to. I think sometimes we forget that frenzied times can lead to questioning everything, and that can be a good thing.

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    1. Thanks! When things get that busy, you really do have to cut things down to the essentials. The trick is to remember what's essential, and what's urgent, since they often aren't the same.

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  8. I so wish I could help you. I worked in accounting for 26 years. I worked for corporations in all aspects from cost accounting to mergers and acquisitions. I even taught accounting for 10 years at Rutgers University.

    I never got the accounting illnesses you mentioned, even though it was a night and day job. And ironically, I've watched the movie THE ACCOUNTANT about 9 times since it came to cable. I remember Crazy Eddie and wondered how he could sell things for such a low price. Now I know.

    Good luck and keep your eye on the end. The time will come (soon) when it will be all over.

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    1. Thanks. I'm lucky, in many respects, because I've had my own business for about ten years now and can set my own hours. I work mostly at home, and that's great, but it also means work is always right here.

      After this week, with T4's out and a couple of year ends done for productions (I do entertainment accounting so my work life revolves around labour tax credits) I think I'll be good. I'm also our church treasurer, and Vestry is this coming Sunday, so that's another big one over. Then I hope to be able to get excited about my book. ;)

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  9. Love your excerpt, Kim! I hope Bridget wins the Wally battle!

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    1. Wally wins the battle, but Bridget wins the war. ;)

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