Did you look back at that title and go "huh?" Because, really, can anyone say that their life is moving along smoothly and nothing unexpected happens? And that's good, because no one wants a perfect life. Really.
Life is full of unexpected adventures. Some good. Some bad. But they all make up the fabric of who we are. A dear friend of mine always says that their are no coincidences, just turns in the road. It seems like some people have windier roads than others. Some things that you think are tragic, end up being a blessing in disguise.
Two weeks before I graduated high school, I discovered I was pregnant. In today's world that's not so shocking, but in my little corner of the Bible belt it was the end of the world. I was salutatorian, President of the FHA, member of the National Honor Society, Vice President of my class, head cheerleader, voted best-all around student by the teachers and a leader of the school. (Before you get too impressed, I was at a small school and there were only 13 people in my graduating class!) I had two college scholarships and a bright future ahead of me. I was told my life was over. To top it off, Jeff and I refused to get married. That was unforgivable in my small town. One family member told me I was going to end up "white trash" with a jillion kids, all with different fathers. I had community members showing up at my after school job telling me about their cousin/sister/aunt that could give my baby a far better home than I ever could. People I thought were my friends ran. People I never expected to care stood up for me.
Jeff and I were young. He was in the Army and just been notified that his unit was going to the middle east as part of Operation Desert Shield. I faced the possibility that I may never see him again and started making plans of my own. I moved to San Marcos so I could use the scholarship I'd been given to attend Texas State University (at the time is was Southwest Texas State).
I was alone. Miserable. Pregnant. And when Desert Shield become Desert Storm, baby-daddy was in a full-fledged war. Several friends also went to the same college but while they were enjoying the new found freedom of life in the big city, away from the restrictions of our tiny town, I was buckling down and getting as many classes under my belt as I could. I can honestly say that if I hadn't been pregnant, I would have gotten caught up in it too. I had friends that flunked out or quit school because their grades were so bad. I didn't have that luxury.
Fast forward. Jeff and I did eventually get married. We celebrated our 25th anniversary in January. We moved to his home state of Arizona where I graduated Magna Cumme Laude from Northern Arizona University. We had 2 more beautiful children and a happy, but far from perfect life.
Life is full of unexpected adventures. Some good. Some bad. But they all make up the fabric of who we are. A dear friend of mine always says that their are no coincidences, just turns in the road. It seems like some people have windier roads than others. Some things that you think are tragic, end up being a blessing in disguise.
Two weeks before I graduated high school, I discovered I was pregnant. In today's world that's not so shocking, but in my little corner of the Bible belt it was the end of the world. I was salutatorian, President of the FHA, member of the National Honor Society, Vice President of my class, head cheerleader, voted best-all around student by the teachers and a leader of the school. (Before you get too impressed, I was at a small school and there were only 13 people in my graduating class!) I had two college scholarships and a bright future ahead of me. I was told my life was over. To top it off, Jeff and I refused to get married. That was unforgivable in my small town. One family member told me I was going to end up "white trash" with a jillion kids, all with different fathers. I had community members showing up at my after school job telling me about their cousin/sister/aunt that could give my baby a far better home than I ever could. People I thought were my friends ran. People I never expected to care stood up for me.
Jeff and I were young. He was in the Army and just been notified that his unit was going to the middle east as part of Operation Desert Shield. I faced the possibility that I may never see him again and started making plans of my own. I moved to San Marcos so I could use the scholarship I'd been given to attend Texas State University (at the time is was Southwest Texas State).
I was alone. Miserable. Pregnant. And when Desert Shield become Desert Storm, baby-daddy was in a full-fledged war. Several friends also went to the same college but while they were enjoying the new found freedom of life in the big city, away from the restrictions of our tiny town, I was buckling down and getting as many classes under my belt as I could. I can honestly say that if I hadn't been pregnant, I would have gotten caught up in it too. I had friends that flunked out or quit school because their grades were so bad. I didn't have that luxury.
Fast forward. Jeff and I did eventually get married. We celebrated our 25th anniversary in January. We moved to his home state of Arizona where I graduated Magna Cumme Laude from Northern Arizona University. We had 2 more beautiful children and a happy, but far from perfect life.
Three years ago, a similar thing happened to my daughter. She had been living on her own for years. She was in a steady relationship. Going part-time to school, although had been doing fewer and fewer classes because she'd discovered the power of money and was working more and more hours. In the span of four days she discovered her boyfriend had been cheating on her and that the doctor was correct....antibiotics do, indeed, mess up birth control pills. She was pregnant. She was convinced her life was over. She spent the next few months lamenting over how horrible her life was and how nothing would ever be good again. Then she held a beautiful, perfect, tiny baby in her arms and everything changed.
She went back to school full time and will graduate from nursing school in December. She's the hardest working person I know and she's a wonderful mother. Now, she looks back and says she would have never gone back to school if she hadn't had her daughter. She inspired her be a better person. And my oh my has that spunky little girl been a blessing to our family!
When I started this post, I had a list of at least five different examples of bad things that turned out to be blessings and things that I'm still waiting to find the blessings in. But as usual, I've rambled and talked (typed??) way too long. So now I'd like to hear from you. What has happened to you that you thought was awful but turned out to be a good thing? Inspire me!
When I graduated from a US school with a teaching degree, I couldn't get a job the first year (visa issues for a school in the US). To pay back student loans, I got a waitressing job in my home town. I knew nothing about alcohol (teetotaler family) and the bartender had a steep learning curve with me. We've now been married for 33 years.
ReplyDelete33 years!!! Congrats! Isn't it funny how things work out? You could've gotten a job as a waitress almost anywhere....yet you ended up right where you needed to be!
DeleteKim, that's the cutest 'how we met' romance story!
DeleteThanks for such an uplifting post. It reminded me of telling my mother something that was happening with a family member. I prefaced the story with: "I've got good news that sounds like bad news when you first hear it." Decades later, my mother was still remarking on how that "intro" made listening to the rest so much easier.
ReplyDeleteWhat a perfect intro! I can totally see that as the first line of a book. :)
DeleteLeAnne, I can tell from your writing how much a bit of adverse happenings has made you the strong, independent woman you are today. I know it all feeds in to making you a better writer of the push-pull life items that go in our family oriented books.
ReplyDeleteThanks Roz. Like everyone, I think we've all had a lot better (and worse) things happen to us. We can allow it to change us or we can use it to change things. It's all in our perspective.
DeleteLeAnne, You made me tear up! Thinking about you so young and alone and pregnant... Wow. So amazing that you persevered and continued on to college. You have a beautiful family. And that adorable precious baby granddaughter - such a blessing! I always try to hold onto the idea that all of these "bad" things we endure help make us the "good" people we are, or strive to be anyway. Even though sometimes it might take a while for us to see it. It's that old "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" mentality. Lol
ReplyDeleteThank you, Carol. My original post was sooooo long because I wanted to give credit to all the wonderful people I met while a single mother in college with her other half away at war, but it would've ended up being a novel, so I had to cut it, lol. I made a lot of bad choices in life, but I wouldn't change anything if it would keep me from being that little girls "Moo-Moo"!
DeleteI was a single mom in 1970 here in the Bible belt, so, yeah, some of my memories will wrap right around yours in that braided cord of strength it gives us! Good for your daughter and for you. And I think perfect would be kind of anticlimactic. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Liz! It sounds like you and I have some things in common. :) We'll have to get together soon to discuss!
DeleteWhat inspirational stories, LeAnne! What seems like an unexpected surprise can start a chain of events that leads to wonderful places we'd never have gone otherwise. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteThank you Beth! One of my favorite poems is the one by Robert Frost about taking the path less traveled. And that, as he said, has made all the difference. I think you said it pretty nicely too.
DeleteYou do realize your life is a Harlequin novel, complete with the HEA. <3 I love this post so much. I'm a firm believer in every step we take in our lives gets us to where we're meant to be. This story inspires me...the power of a woman to know her own mind and make her own choices. You rock! And so does your amazing family.
ReplyDeleteHarlequin novel? Bahahaha! I didn't even throw in anything about my alcoholic parents, my overbearing controlling aunt or the secret cousin that I discovered through ancestry DNA (who had been given up for adoption by a different, but just as judgemental and critical, aunt). But thanks!!
DeleteWhat great stories about unexpected babies. I can't really think of anything that dramatic in my own life. However, I wanted to be an oboist in the symphony and graduated from a world-class music school. After auditioning for a major symphony and not succeeding, I set my sights on other goals. Through the audition and musician friends, I came to realize I wasn't cut out for the life of a symphony musician anyway. I've always thought that we should give our dreams our all, and accept whatever happens as what was "meant to be."
ReplyDeleteI'm so jealous! I tried and tried to play piano, but alas, I didn't inherit any musical genes. I have a pair of 3rd cousins who were original members of the Sons of the Pioneers, so I really hoped I could do it. But no. And I love your advice. Accept whatever happens as what was meant to be!
DeleteCongratulations and Happy Mother's Day to you both!
ReplyDeleteEchoing T.R. Congratulations and Happy Mother's Day!
ReplyDeleteThank you T.R and Patricia. Happy Mother's Day to both of you as well!
DeleteWhat a wonderful story of resilience! So glad things worked out. You have a beautiful family and a gorgeous grandbaby!
ReplyDeleteThank you Tara! I'm pretty partial to her, too. She calls me Moo Moo. And I love that!
DeleteLeAnne, I have so much respect for you. What an incredible and inspiring story about your past. I have to agree with many of the above comments...I think you should work your past into a novel with the heroine modeled after you (or a combination of you and your strong daughter), what you endured and how your persevered. I would read it!! You and your daughter are strong women and your adorable granddaughter is lucky to come from a line of strong, persevering women. Happy Mother's Day to you both!
ReplyDelete