Just for Laughs

Posted by M. K. Stelmack on
Photo courtesy of The Medieval Times



As a Canadian who celebrated the occasion last month (harvest traditionally happens a whole lot earlier north of the 49th) even I know that everyone in the United States is in full-on party mode right now as they head into America's possibly most significant holiday. So...how about a few feel-good Thanksgiving jokes to sling across the dinner table with the uncle or the grand-daughter or the guest who you're not even sure is family or even was invited.

 Ten is a good start, right?
1. What smells best at Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose.

2. Thanksgiving is the only holiday where you eat the mascot.

3. How do you keep a turkey in suspense? I'll tell you later.

4. Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken.

5. This one is a little dark (meat)...
From the blog of WhiskeyPalian





6. And this one is a little sick, too...


7.  So true...

“The meal isn’t over when I’m full, the meal is over when I hate myself.” – Louis C.K.

8.  And for the math geeks at the table...

 What is the easiest recipe for a pumpkin pie?

 Simply divide the pumpkin’s circumference by its diameter.

9. And because none of the others were groaners at all...

 Q: What sound does a limping turkey make?
A: "Wobble, wobble!"

 10. Unlike me, there are those who can't stop at ten...



HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!!



And if you find a quiet corner this holiday, don't forget about the November Harlequin Heartwarming novels. Harlequin Heartwarming Authors


Come visit me at MY FACEBOOK PAGE

Or MY WEBSITE where you can read excerpts of my three Heartwarming novels released in 2018 and receive a full-length FREE book! 

Comments

  1. Janice CarterNovember 23, 2018 at 4:30 AM

    Love them M.K. and a laugh exactly what I needed today! Happy Thanksgiving leftovers and Black Friday shopping to our American friends and authors! 🍗🍗

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. M. K. StelmackNovember 23, 2018 at 5:20 AM

      Thank you, Janice! And now that Black Friday has crept north of the border, it's as if we're celebrating with our American friends.

      Delete
  2. Virginia McCulloughNovember 23, 2018 at 6:14 AM

    Thanks--this was a great way to begin my day of eating leftovers but avoiding anything resembling a shop, store, market...!

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    Replies
    1. M. K. StelmackNovember 23, 2018 at 8:59 AM

      You're welcome, Virginia! Enjoy the leftovers for days to come!

      Delete
  3. NadiaNovember 23, 2018 at 9:29 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. NadiaNovember 23, 2018 at 9:31 AM

    I must confess to raising turkeys one year with the ultimate goal in mind of a lot of good home grown eating. My friend Julie (who knows I'm a soft touch) insisted I wouldn't get attached to the turkeys. "They're too stupid," she said. I ordered ten. Not the white ones, the bronze. They all became very beautiful and tame and followed me around as if I was their mom. One of them developed leg problems as she grew. I fashioned a pair of braces for her legs, hoping to straighten them, but eventually her increasing size and weight caused the braces to fail. Her legs never straightened. I then devised a sling so that she could literally hang out with her flock friends when they were in the shed. (Turkey in suspension) I had to take her to work with me in my truck because she needed to be hand fed and watered. She hung from a sling attached to the rear view mirror while I drove, and my dad babysat her at their house while I was at work. When she eventually died I sobbed like a baby and buried her in the sacred grounds where my dear dogs are buried. All of the remaining "family of turkeys" lived to a ripe old age, much to my friend's disgust. Every Thanksgiving I remember that sweet little turkey with the dark, pretty eyes who thought I was her mom. And yes, I ate turkey this Thanksgiving. I'm not a farmer, but I'm a hypocrite for sure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. M. K. StelmackNovember 23, 2018 at 1:26 PM

      That's an awesome story, Nadia! Thanks so much for sharing. My brother who farms said much the same thing about his turkeys and ducks. The turkeys were so innocent that it hurt to round them up for slaughter. The hissing, greedy ducks were another matter.

      Delete
  5. Kim FindlayNovember 23, 2018 at 10:36 AM

    My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes ...
    ... but I told them I couldn't quit "cold turkey.”

    ReplyDelete
  6. Patricia BradleyNovember 23, 2018 at 1:13 PM

    All of these are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. M. K. StelmackNovember 23, 2018 at 1:28 PM

      So many more hit my cutting floor. Have a great Thanksgiving, Patricia!

      Delete
  7. Beth CarpenterNovember 23, 2018 at 4:24 PM

    Laughing and laughing. Number 4 is my favorite. Thanks, M.K.

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  8. Callie EndicottNovember 23, 2018 at 4:38 PM

    Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Liz FlahertyNovember 24, 2018 at 4:08 AM

    Loved the jokes and Nadia's story!

    ReplyDelete

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