Don't Do It by Cheryl Harper

Last week, I was thiiiisss close to withdrawing an application for a promotion because my confidence had hit rock bottom. I told the right person, the one who was listening, and he said "Don't do that." I was pretty sure he was wrong, but I didn't. I interviewed and got the job. My confidence? Still not great on its own, so sometimes I need other people to be confident in me. Friends are lifesavers, and this life takes a whole heart-shaped sampler of them.

Which friends will you add to the list?

The Old Friend-in my life, this is the one who trudged miles behind the rest of the group across a cross-country field in a freshman "wellness" class with me, the one who watched me stick out my thumb at a passing car so that we could get a ride back to the gym instead of walking, and who slid right into the car of the president of the university and ducked waaaay down as we passed the rest of the class climbing the hill. The stories we can tell about each other? That's a bond no matter how far apart we live.

The New Friend-mistakenly thinks I have my stuff together. Does not disappear upon learning the truth. That's sweet.

The Work Friend-we bonded three jobs ago and still miss each other like crazy while we keep up on Facebook and text gossip to each other.

The Good Influence-no matter how angry you are or hurt by the world, they never sink to your level. Yes, it's annoying. It's also necessary. I am NEVER this friend. You're mad? Okay, me, too. I'm mad for you.

The Bad Influence-Hi, my name is Cheryl. If you have an opening here on your roster, just pencil me in. Don't know if you should spend the money? My answer is yes. Should you get that pair of shoes/have dessert? Go. For. It. You would like to execute some petty and completely legal revenge on an ex or your terrible neighbor? Welcome to my brainstorming session.

The Internet Friend-love them and I love how, miles away, they can come in and say exactly what you needed to hear when you need it. We can be friends because of what we love, not where we live, and it's amazing to find that connection.

Who's missing? What kind of friends should we add to the sampler?


  1. I like these classifications, and they are all soooo important to us, aren't they? Congratulations on your promotion and your friendships. (I might add readers to the list, too--hearing from them is such a special thing.)

  2. I'm glad you listened to your friend, Cheryl. Congrats on the new promotion. We're really not supposed to be all things to all people, are we? I love your list. I would add "The Mentor". I've had friends in different stages of life whose advice I cherished so much. When you feel like your life is blowing up, there is nothing so reassuring as having that one mentor pat your hand, nod knowingly and tell you,"Nah, you're doing just fine. This will pass. Motherhood or writing or (insert whatever is making you feel lost) is supposed to feel like this sometimes." And to piggy back on The Internet Friend, I'd include The Hobby Friend. That one person who only wants to talk screenplays with you and it is!

  3. Both additions above are great to go with your fabulous list! I would add writer friends because they talk to imaginary friends as well.

  4. Yes, nice classification of friends. Writer friends are critical for sure. Glad you had the friend who gave you that nudge you needed to go after what you want. I also like the "special interest" friend. I've got one friend who's my political/activist partner--we do all the campaign drudge work together. Knocking on doors is so much easier with a friend at my side. Now she's a confidant and travel buddy, too. The categories can slip around a lot!

  5. Congratulations on the new job, and on the friend who believed in you! Love all those friends. How about the undemanding friend, the one who isn't in your life everyday, but when the two of you manage to connect it's like you pick up the conversation where you left off?

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