Social distance and memory seeds... by Liz Flaherty and Helen DePrima


How odd it is, staying home for reasons other than choice. At first, I thought of a dozen reasons I needed to go somewhere, but that has calmed. Living in the country is a boundless blessing when it comes to social distancing; we do it naturally. But it makes you think about things, doesn't it?

This morning, when we were going to make the bed, Duane and I danced across the living room--slow dancing with our feet matching and one of each of our hands mirrored on the other. His other hand was in the center of my back--mine was on his shoulder...or maybe his neck. We shared a kiss before separating to make the king-size bed, and I realized how lucky it is that even though we're distanced from others, we are together in it. We have voices to hear besides ones from the TV. We are touched, physically, over and over. We have someone to laugh with, to play Farkle with, who cares about (although doesn't necessarily agree with) our opinions.

I write every day even now when I'm doing it without a contract, and the isolation makes me even more determined that although my career changes all the time, writing is as integral a part of me as it's always been. But I've stopped hurrying. I think I'm good with that.

My sewing space is in my office, and I'm spending more time at the machine. Touching and turning and cutting fabrics. As a meme on Facebook assured all quilters, times like this are what we've been training for. My quilts are so far from being expertly done it's almost embarrassing, but they provide warmth and memories for both their giver and their receiver. I'm good with that, too.

When the weather's good, I walk on the trail near our house. The Nickel Plate is so many things to so many people, and it lends special comfort these days. Birdsong, croaking frogs, and skittering squirrels and rabbits keep walkers company, and the scents of spring are promises for better tomorrows.

How are you spending your time?



Social distancing – such a hard concept to absorb and practice. From early childhood, we’ve been encouraged to make friends, join in, playing nicely together, and suddenly we’re told to avoid contact, essentially to fear getting close others of our species. No safety in numbers, no huddling around the fire in a group for comfort as our institutions, both formal and casual, close their doors to us.

I have conflicting thoughts about this new way of life. I’m basically a solitary sort, not a joiner. For the most part, my pastimes and pleasures lie close to home or rambling alone in the woods, but I like knowing there is life beyond my little sphere. The roads and sidewalks empty of traffic and pedestrians have a nightmare creepiness, an apocalyptic quality which drives me out of my comfort zone. What if the lights never go back on, if we can survive only through isolation?

 

from The Daily Astorian with thanks

And then I give myself a sharp mental slap. Spring is coming. The daffodil spears are poking up through the dead leaves, red-wing blackbirds are visiting my feeders, and the first tick crawled across my wrist after I spent the day tearing bittersweet vines out of our woodlot. This threat will diminish and recede in the rear-view mirror and life will resume its normal pattern, but I wonder if I’ll be content in my old ways. Suddenly, human contact seems very dear. I doubt I’ll start joining clubs and organizing block parties, but I’ll reach out more and relish even the smallest interactions – please and thank you, your new haircut looks great, let me help you with those grocery bags.

 

I hope our enforced isolation now will yield a better appreciation of our neighbors in days to come.

Helen DePrima

Comments

  1. Thanks for the good words, ladies!

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    1. I remind myself every day how lucky my husband and I are that our lives aren't dramatically dislocated -- no job disruption, no kids home from school indefinitely, plenty of food in the freezer and wood in the woodshed. Our daughter laughs at the amount of stored food we keep on hand, but it's sure comforting during snowstorms -- and epidemics!

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  2. Aw, these posts hearten me so much! That paragraph of you and Duane dancing, Liz, should be copied word for word to a new Heartwarming novel. And Helen, I’m with you about re-examining my life after Covid-19, which is what many will be doing in the months ahead. Having a deadline helps keep me inside a big chunk of the day, but although I tend to be an introvert, I miss people. Missing my sweet granddaughter, as we’ve decided to FaceTime instead, and missing cooking family meals as everyone wants to avoid contact with us old folk. Thanks for the lift today!

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    1. I know what you mean. My daughter told me the other day that while she'll bring anything we need and leave it on the porch, there'll be no more hugging for the time being. The things we take for granted. Sigh. Thanks for coming by, Janice. I love the immediacy we get from blogging and comments.

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    2. I envy you your deadline, Janice -- right now, I'm writing on spec but at a snail's pace. Maybe this enforced isolation will spur me to speed up the process. Springtime is always busy for us; we put in a huge kitchen garden as well as tend a lot of perennials. Another month before the ground is fit for planting (except for peas, which I planted last week), so finishing my first draft will be a worthy goal. After a beautiful sunny day yesterday, it's snowing again -- perfect for writing.

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  3. Thanks for the posts. Very nice commentary on what for many of us is routine solitude while we work, and for some us much of the rest of the time as well. I know many of us will be out walking soon and it will be good to see people on the street, even as we maintain distance. We're look at a little rain now and maybe snow later, so the trails aren't quite ready for us yet. Right now I'm grateful I have everything I need and then some--but I was sad to see the library closed indefinitely. The library is always a stop on my rounds.

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    1. It's raining here, too, and windy, so even though temperatures are higher, it's too miserable to be out. I miss seeing people and coffee-house time at a favorite place where they have live music and a writers' group and great conversation. I'm grateful, though, like you said, to have all we need and more. Blessings to you, Virginia.

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  4. There are certainly enough writing, remodeling, and organization projects to keep me occupied at home for years, but I missed attending church this past week (online just wasn't the same) and ever since I've felt adrift, like I can't keep track of days or hours. I'm concerned about my mother in an assisted living home, my son's job as a teacher, my daughter's wedding this summer, and the effects of low oil prices and no tourists on Alaska's economy. Wondering if the store will get eggs by next week. And grateful that some of the bickering seems to have slacked off as we pull together to get through this. Take care, everyone.

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    1. We had church Sunday, but probably won't for a time after this, although our congregation is small. I have some of the same wonderings and concerns as you. I particularly hope your mother's residence stays safe. Are you able to visit her?

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  5. Hello...it's very nice to visit with you Liz and friends. I am an Introvert and I love being home. I always find plenty to do. My family is nearby, and that is a comfort.
    I thrive on reading, knitting and British Mysteries on BritBox and Acorn.
    This Virus scared me to the core...not for myself, I am old. I worry for the safety of my amazing grandkids and my daughter...It also makes me livid, seeing and hearing how frivolous some people behave.Why would anyone play Russian Roulette with their life is beyond me! ( the kids at the beaches and bars in FL. )
    Please be safe everyone..Take every blessed precaution you can..for yourself and your families.
    PS..Liz, dance often. My husband has been gone for almost 5 yrs and one of my most cherished memories is dancing with him on the sand at the Beach...sniffles...Elvis was singing.. " Love Me Tender"...
    It's our 56th Wedding Anniversary today.
    Take care dearheart...xo,m.



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    1. Happy Anniversary! Thank you for stopping by. Stay safe. I wouldn't say I'm scared, but definitely cautious.

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  6. Hello...it's very nice to visit with you Liz and friends. I am an Introvert and I love being home. I always find plenty to do. My family is nearby, and that is a comfort.
    I thrive on reading, knitting and British Mysteries on BritBox and Acorn.
    This Virus scared me to the core...not for myself, I am old. I worry for the safety of my amazing grandkids and my daughter...It also makes me livid, seeing and hearing how frivolous some people behave.Why would anyone play Russian Roulette with their life is beyond me! ( the kids at the beaches and bars in FL. )
    Please be safe everyone..Take every blessed precaution you can..for yourself and your families.
    PS..Liz, dance often. My husband has been gone for almost 5 yrs and one of my most cherished memories is dancing with him on the sand at the Beach...sniffles...Elvis was singing.. " Love Me Tender"...
    It's our 56th Wedding Anniversary today.
    Take care dearheart...xo,m.



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